Patience and a patient

Sorry for the blog silence. I have been otherwise occupied the past week. Without going into too much detail, I came to D.C. last Thursday to visit my Dad for Father's Day weekend. He had a medical situation and we ended up spending the whole weekend plus a couple of days in the hospital.

Most of our time was spent waiting. Waiting for tests. Waiting for results. Waiting for doctor's to explain said test results. Etc... It was frustrating for both of us, but at least I was there to experience the frustration with him and hopefully make it a little more bearable.  While I was in the chair next to the bed and not in the bed, it was an experience of solidarity and compassion building, as in the word's meaning as "suffering with." He's home now and I was able to shift some things around in my schedule to stay a little longer with him and get him settled.

Of course there are lots of things I should be doing at home. I am not even sure what all is on my to do list at this point, other then that I know it is quite long. But this is where I need to be right now. Developing patience as I companion the patient who is also my father.

Please keep my Dad in your prayers. I am also praying with and for all those without someone to keep them company in the hospital.

Clutter

Before I left for my trip to visit our Sisters in the UK, my life was a bit of a whirlwind, end of semester style. I was finishing projects on my to do list literally up to the minute I had to lock up and head downstairs to my airport shuttle.

One thing anyone who has lived with me knows is that when life gets busy for me, the clutter piles up. You have to cut back somewhere, right?

In any case, to make a long story short, I finally had a good chunk of time yesterday to clear some of the clutter. What a joy it was to open my eyes and see the clear space on the floor and even the clean dusted quality of the little table in my prayer space.

Sometimes we just need to stop and take the time to declutter our lives. I think that goes for the spiritual life too.

While I was in the UK I spent a week of retreat in contemplative prayer and dialogue with with my Sisters. The entire experience was one big graced moment, but perhaps the most significant was sitting in silent prayer together.

Sometimes words can get in the way for me, a type of clutter of their own. Yet the silence is always there, waiting. So in addition to deluttering my room, I am also making the comittment (again) to clear some space for silent sitting with God as part of my regular prayer practice.

Where do you need to clear and away clutter and make space in your life?

CSJP Novices

I was unable to make photos upload from my mobile phone onto the blog when I was in the UK.  Here is  a picture of the women who are in our Congregation Novitiate (now located in London) that I was visiting with last week. Please keep them in your prayers as they continue with their journey of initial formation.

CSJP Novices: Sister Katrina, (yours truly--not a novice!),
Sister Sheena, and Sister Juliana

Jet Lag

Early Sisters of St Joseph of Peace
travelling on the Great Northern Railroad

Greetings from Chicago.  I made my way home yesterday afternoon without much ado.  I continue to be amazed at jet travel. It's commonplace.  We take it for granted.  Morning I'm in the UK. Later that day I'm in the US.  Sure I'm a bit jet lagged and ready for my own bed, and have spent a great deal of money on the plane ticket, but it's relatively painless.

Then I think about our early Sisters of St. Joseph of Peace.  Within 10 years of our founding in 1884 we had Sisters in the UK, New Jersey and Washington State/British Columbia.  They didn't have the internet or even long distance telephones to communicate but wrote letters, which had to be copied by hand.  And they traveled by boat and train, long distances.  You might think, given the comparative difficulty of travelling, that they stayed put where they were.  But when you read the early stories of our Sisters you soon find yourselves amazed at their mobility and connection given that each province was 3,000 miles away from the next!

So today I'm a bit jet lagged to be sure, but I'm also filled with gratitude for having spent the past two weeks with our Sisters in the United Kingdom.

Founders Day

Today is a feast day in my religious congregation. In 1899 on this day, our founder Margaret Anna Cusack, known in religion as Mother Francis Clare, breathed her last.

It was a blessing to join with our CSJP Congregation Novitiate community today to celebrate this special day. This morning we prayed a special prayer in our office book for Margaret Anna. It was moving and I felt her presence. Sister Alexine, my former London housemate and now congregation novice director, created a lovely prayer space in the chapel.

This afternoon we went out for a celebratory feast day meal before I headed on a train back to Birmingham for the first leg of my journey back to Chicago.

These two week with our CSJP UK region has been very special. The time has both flown by and yet not. Perhaps it is all the deep conversations and renewed connections that contribute to that quality. In any case, my visit is almost over. Hopefully I will not have to wait another six years to come back to this side of the pond.

Companions

I am blessed to be spending this week in London with our Congregation novitiate community. We are working together on a project and in the process getting to know each other better.

It is amazing to me how God works in our lives and in our community. I clearly remember, when I first considered religious life in general and the CSJP community in particular, being concerned about the reality of diminishment and lack of vocations. How could I join my lot with this group? Yes thry are amazing women. But who would be my companions 15, 25, 50 years down the line?

Yet my heart was already caught up in love for the CSJP charism and community, and so I took the plunge. As luck (or God) would have it, I ended up entering with a group. Four of us made first vows within a few years of each other and now we have a new group of three in the novitiate discerning their call as Sisters of St Joseph of Peace.

It is an honor to hear their stories, both their lives until now and their first connection with our community. Like myself, each of them first connected with us via our website and then fell in love with our Sisters. The charism is very strong in the three of them in very unique ways. I am filled with gratitude and hope.

Please join me in praying for my new companions on their novitiate journey. And pray too for all women and men discerning a call to the crazy wonderful experiment that is religious life.

Facing the Future

In our CSJP constitutions we say that confident in God's faithful love, we face the future in gratitude and hope. This past week was an embodied experience of these words as we gathered for our Congregation retreat. I am filled with deep love, gratitude and awe at the workings of the spirit in our community. Words pretty much escape me except to say that we are living into our evolving future, and what a future it will be!

I am now spending a few days with our congregation novitiate community in London. This is also the same house where I lived for 3 months as a novice. My old housemate is now the novice director. I will be working with the novices on a special project these days. Stay tuned ...

Graciousness

Greetings from Sacred Heart Convent, our CSJP regional centre in Rearsby, Leicestershire, England. My visit to what really feels like my UK home has been lovely so far. From when I saw Sister Kathleen's shiny face at the airport arrivals hall to the welcome I received from the Sisters here at Rearsby I have felt loved and embraced by their gracious hospitality. Even though it has been six years since I was last here as a novice, the people and place are familiar and once again I feel right at home. Perhaps I felt most at home after dinner when my assistance in washing up and putting away the dishes was welcomed. I now even know where some of the dishes belong!

At mass and office in the chapel, I loved hearing the cultural nuances between our two English speaking provinces. I had forgotten how instead of saying our straightforward "We pray to the Lord ... Lord hear out prayer," across the pond they say "Lord hear us," followed by "Lord graciously hear us." Or "Lord in your mercy," followed by "Hear our prayer." To me both formulas used here in the UK speak volumes to the love and care God has for us which is lost in the US version. Somehow ours seems more about our wants and needs and less about God's gracious love and care.

Those are some of my middle of the night jet lagged this thoughts. Now to try to get back to sleep!

UK Bound

Tomorrow evening I head to the UK to spend some time with my CSJP Sisters across the pond. I haven't been there since my wonderful three month sojourn as an apostolic novice.  I will only be there this time for two weeks, but I am so looking forward to seeing our Sisters and Associates in the UK.  I'll also see some of my US CSJP friends as well who are also making the trip.

My first stop will be our regional center, Sacred Heart Convent in Rearsby, Leicestershire.  Our house there (pictured to the right) is located in the countryside on the outskirts of a quaint village.  It is such a lovely spot, and the women who live there are just as lovely.

After a few days at Rearsby, I will join 40 other CSJP Sisters and Associates for a contemplative retreat experience.  Our CSJP Congregation has made the commitment this year that every Sister and Associate who is able will attend one of three congregation retreats.  The other two retreats in the States took place during my spring Semester, which is why I have the wonderful opportunity to head to the UK to join the last retreat there.  From everything I've heard, I am sure it will be a transformative experience.

After the retreat, I am heading down to London to spend a few days with our Congregation Novitiate.  This also happens to be the same house where I lived for my three months as a novice so it will be like coming home in a way.  I'm really looking forward to visiting with Sister Alexine, who I lived with as a novice and who is now the novice director, and also getting to know the three women who have joined our Congregation as novices.  I'll also be doing a technology workshop of sorts with them, but I'm most excited to just be spending some time with them.

My two weeks will be over before I know it! I might blog from the UK, depending on how technology and timing work out.  If not, rest assured I will share all about it when I get back.

(Almost) 41 year old me to 20 year old me

My nephew (the baby in this 1992 family photo) turns 22 today. I was 20 when this photo was taken (I'm the one with the glasses).  This crazy realization got me thinking about my 20 year old self verses my (almost) 41 year old self.

Yes I have more grey hairs, wrinkles, scars, and some extra pounds.  Yet I also have much less anxiety which weighs you down more than you'd ever know unless you have had anxiety as a travelling companion in life on a regular basis.

When this photo was taken I was finishing up my sophomore year in college, studying political science.  I had no idea what I would be doing with my life when I graduated.  I ended up of course with an 11 year stint as a bureaucrat before making the unexpected leap and entering religious life. Now I'm studying Theology and Ethics. I have no idea what I'll be doing with my life "career" wise.  What I do know is that I am a Sister of St. Joseph of Peace and my life and community will be rooted and grounded in that reality for the rest of my life. That my friends is a wonderful feeling, even if there are many unkowns up ahead.

I'm wearing my first pair of eye glasses in this photo.  I've had many prescriptions since as my eye sight has shifted and worsened.  Truth be told I now need a reading prescription in addition to corrective lenses.  But in many ways, I see the world much clearer now. My lived experience to date, the things I've learned and the people I've been honored to meet have given me a much better understanding of the world, systems, etc... Yet, I also know and accept that really I do not know much of anything.

The me in this photo wasn't so sure about God or that Jesus guy.  She'd given up on organized religion as unable to answer her questions and complicit in much of the suffering in the world.  The me writing these words today still has questions, more probably, and still has problems with suffering in the world.  But I also realize that for me at least it makes more sense to bring my questions to community, to share and hold that messy tension with others and to open my heart to God and God's people. Do I have all the answers? By no means.  But the life of faith is less about knowing or believing in my experience and more about risking and vulnerability and joy and wonder and awe.

20 year old me would probably fall on the floor laughing or snort her exacerbation at 41 year old me.  Yet here I am, wondering what 60 year old me will think about  (almost) 41 year old me in a few more decades.  Time certainly does pass quickly!

End of the Semester ... Summer Begins

Well folks, believe it or not the semester is finished, and along with it my first year of study at Catholic Theological Union!  It's been a great year and time has really flown by. I've been able to study and research incredible and important topics from human rights abuse to racism, climate change to reconciliation.  I've really appreciated being a little bit older as a 40 year old grad student with some life experience to bring into the academic mix (even if the 40 year old state of my little grey cells makes studying a little challenging!)

It's officially summer now in terms of the academic calendar, however, which means a little break!  I'm staying based in Chicago this summer but have a variety of exciting things on the horizon, mostly all religious life related.

Next week I head to spend a couple of weeks in the UK with my religious community, first for a community retreat and then to spend some time with our novitiate community which is now in London.

In July I head west for our National Giving Voice Gathering of sisters in their 20s, 30s, and 40s.  I'm on the planning team for this 4 day conference, so there will be lots to do between now and then!  It should be an amazing time to gather with peers and ponder mission and ministry in the 21st century.

Afterwards I'm headed north to spend time with my groovy sisters in Seattle and friends in Portland.  It will be nice to visit the Pacific Northwest for a while.

August holds another nun meeting.  I'm also planning some quality family time with my big sis and her family, my niece who will be coming to Chicago, and with my Dad over Father's Day weekend.

Community, religious life peers, family.  I've also got some work to throw into the mix, and some relaxation and prayer time.  It should be a good summer and renew and reset my brain for another year of courses come the fall!

For now, I'm celebrating the end of the first year tonight by taking advantage of student discounts to the Opera to see a production of Oklahoma!  Can't wait! :)

Peaceful Mother's Day

It is hard to believe that my Mom passed away almost ten years ago.  In addition to being an awesome Mom and a great friend, she inspired me by her love and concern for all God's creatures. In her honor, today I continue my bloggy tradition with this re-post.

How many of you know about the original pre-hallmark meaning of the day? Read Julia Ward Howe's Original Mother's Day Proclamation from 1870. Here's a teaser:

"Arise, then, women of this day! Arise all women who have hearts, whether our baptism be that of water or of fears! ... We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs. From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own. It says "Disarm, Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."

You can also listen to the entire proclamation in this video:


Somehow that meaning has gotten lost over the years.  But it is so very important and needed today in a world where so many families are torn apart by violence.  Domestic Violence.  Street Violence.  Violence of war, poverty and oppression.

So, in the midst of final paper writing, I will be spending some time in prayer this Mother's Day in thanksgiving for my own mother who rests in eternal peace, but also in solidarity and love with mothers in war torn countries and the mothers of those serving in the military. This continues to seem to be the most appropriate way to mark the day.